So, one of the reasons for escaping my country to travel was, indeed because of a woman. There, having finally admitted it, and whilst it wasn’t the 1st or 2nd reason it was certainly in the top 5.
Most people say that running away from your problems is not the answer and I will agree.
However, sometimes putting some distance between yourself and that which causes you pain is not necessarily a bad thing.
Travelling for a long time means that commitment can be a problem.
Meeting a beautiful girl in say Thailand, only to find yourself living in Japan is hardly going to bring happiness to either party for very long.
So, meet people and enjoy their company but don’t promise anything or commit to something you may not be able to fulfil.
I have my own commitment issues anyway, so, finding that special person will be harder than most. I am old fashioned I need to make a connection to someone before anything physical happens.
Most of my relationships have taken a good 6 months to know the person before being comfortable with them. Equally, my days of drinking at the bar and taking a girl home are long gone.
Are 2 weeks enough to meet someone and know you want more?
Who knows, for me, yes, but everyone is different.
Maybe though you have to be willing to take more of a chance whilst travelling?
A very old friend, told me before I embarked on this journey that you have to be at one with the world.
Be available to all the possibilities that will surround you and be open too listen, see and feel things.
This does take some doing. Especially when you do not have a plan for how your life will go for the next 12 months.
I haven’t quite mastered the art of it all yet, as you will see from this story.
We are all human and therefore without any fixed plans. We can falter quickly and revert inside ourselves because we feel insecure, lonely and lost without direction.
That said, if you can reach this place, even some of the time, it is great, your life will change because you are open to suggestions and the world around you.
I didn’t really believe in the spiritual side of life, but I have started to feel differently in this last 12 months.
Maybe being out in the world, without the pressure of everything we become used to. The stress of my past life has gone, faded away into the far recesses of my mind or maybe lost forever?
It’s about finding a balance when you are travelling, finding companionship is good and natural and helps you grow.
Learning about people, remembering to put them first and give them attention, care and love is good and should never be forgotten or undervalued.
But also you need to be selfish from time to time as well.
The Holiday fling
Therefore, most people will enjoy the “holiday fling” as it will be an excuse to be adventurous.
Maybe the romance of a Thai island or a beach in Bali is all that you need to experience a bit of intimacy for a night or two. With someone, you would not normally look at dating, maybe older or younger or from a different culture.
A beautiful sunset, a late-night swim in a pool alone, delicious cocktails or just a desire to be intimate is all that is needed to make it special.
I have had my fair share of travel flings with people who I found myself attracted too. Liked for the time we were together whilst travelling or maybe through friends you meet along the way.
Whatever the reason the time spent is great and you can enjoy it as long as both parties are on the same page then it’s all good.
And you don’t intentionally hurt anyone ( it can still happen with all the best intentions)
Having met many people in various circumstances I have always been in control of my feelings and what might happen. If the girl is maybe wanting more then stopping things before they get out of hand is a good thing.
It is not right to hurt someone just for a night of sex.
But beware the beating Heart!
Sometimes though the heart can have other ideas. When it is exposed to too much emotion it becomes unguarded and gets hurt. So when someone came along at a time when I was feeling good about myself I was unprepared.
When my life and the place I was at both physically and spiritually was perfect.
I was obviously not as tuned in to my surroundings as I thought.
Two weeks went by quite quickly and we became good friends. I would like to think that anyway. Sharing good food and conversation late into the night. Even with other people were around us, it felt special like we shared something intimate.
Now, a lot of my friends and past partners will say I can be a bit of a flirt at times. Nothing too serious but when I am relaxed I guess I can be quite charming. Normally I don’t let it go too far and try to keep in check my feelings so it doesn’t cause an issue to anyone.
However, on this occasion, I guess it was reciprocated and things became more relaxed.
Until a chance to be alone, led to some physical contact that was gentle and nice. A kiss, a hug, a feeling of happiness and a few words about what was happening.
Commitment
Like I said I don’t really do commitment and the other person made it clear that they weren’t looking for it either.
This is where wires got crossed because whilst the next two nights were amazing, a feeling not experienced for a long time I assumed we would have more.
A closeness that went from special to bliss, passion in abundance and let’s say we shared many hours together.
As you become more mature you realise that having a close bond with someone physically is great. But that closeness you share afterwards when you are wrapped in each other’s arms can be more sensual than anything else.
The slightest touch can resonate deeply within your soul.
Maybe, for this reason, I felt I wanted more, and yet I didn’t want a long term relationship with someone who was a lot younger and clearly didn’t want to be tied down.
Fully understanding she wanted to travel on her own and like me, be open to the possibilities that come along.
Maybe someone else or maybe not…
Regret
So, wanting more than what would have been a couple of nights I held back.
Letting my head control my feelings and ignored my heart to lessen any hurt. It’s not a nice feeling when a beautiful girl wants you and you refuse because of some fear inside yourself.
Hopefully, she didn’t feel it was any reflection on her.
She is a very beautiful woman and the regret is that I didn’t fully embrace life at that moment. Because time is all we have and it can never be reset.
It would have been even more magical than what we had if I had gone with my heart. I had hoped that not giving in to my desires would make her want me more, maybe give me a chance to see her again.
We were both travelling in certain countries around the same time so the hope was a second meeting.
However, she had other ideas, at first annoyed I had not given her what she wanted, she quickly dismissed it and moved on. She was happy with that short time and was off on her travels looking for what lies ahead of her.
Whilst, I was left wondering how it might have been if I had given in to my desires.
Would the feeling I have now, been stronger or weaker?
For most of us, holiday flings will be good, simple unattached and not complicated. The few I have experienced were all that.
But every now and then, one comes along, that pulls at your heart, and you can never be sure how it will end.
